


Anarchy, Alternian Style

by sataninventedrollerskates



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Trollstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-04 04:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10983177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sataninventedrollerskates/pseuds/sataninventedrollerskates
Summary: Post-game Trollstuck, now with major formatting edits.





	1. Chapter 1

> run game file _universe.reset_  
> error  
> run file _main.reset_  
> error  
> run file _collateral.contingiency_  
> generating files _u.b1_ _u.b2_ _u.a1_ _u.a2_  
> extracting data _players_  
> merging files _players_  
> error - species incompatible  
> converting files _player_ to species majority  
> error resolved  
> running file _veil_  
> running merged file _players_ in file _veil_  
> _collateral.contingiency_ successfully run

> story: begin

You've done it! You've made it to the new universe! You're here! But where exactly is here? It looks like the inside of one of the meteors in the veil. Some of the trolls are here, but they aren't the ones you remember. The others are looking around as well. What's going on? Where's Jade? Where's Rose? Where's Dave?  
One of the purple clad trolls begins to speak.

??????: Hello, everyone  
??????: It appears that the game has been won.  
??????: However, it appears that Sburb's suprises aren't over for us yet.  
??????: The game likely decided that two species are too many, and solved that problem the only way it knew how.  
??????: As I am now a troll, I assume that I should go by the name on my placronym insead of what some of you know me as.  
??????: I am Rosali Lalond.

Wait, that troll's referring to herself as Rose? What does Rose think of this?

John(?): b-but you can't be rose  
John(?): where's the real rose?  
Rose: Look at your hands, John.

What? Why does she want you to- OH GOD YOUR HANDS ARE GREY YOU HAVE CLAWS YOU'RE A TROLL

??????: holy shit  
??????: what does mine say?  
??????: i think ive got it here somewhere  
??????: yep  
??????: 'Deyvid Stridr'  
Dave: cool  
Dave: hey jade what does yours say  
??????: i don't know  
??????: i hope it's something cool!  
??????: 'Jadeyl Harley'  
Jade: sweet!  
Jade: what about you, john?

Oh god she wants your troll name you have a troll name now you're still a troll

John(?): uh  
John(?): let's see  
John(?): 'Johynn Egbert'  
John: That's lame.

You have a troll name, and it's lame. You're stuck in an unfamiliar body WITH CLAWS, and your horns weigh your head down a lot.  
This sucks.

John: so how do we get back to being humans?  
Rose: I don't know yet, John.  
Rose: It may be simple.  
Rose: It may be impossible.  
John: but we- we have to fix this!  
John: i don't wanna be a troll forever!  
Dave: dude  
Dave: we can manage  
Dave: itll be fine  
Jade: yeah!  
Jade: dave's right!  
Rose: You two are suprisingly optimistic given the situation.  
Jade: wait rose  
Jade: what are those things on the side of your head?  
Dave: yeah rose  
Rose: It appears that I now belong to an aquaic subspecies of trollkind.  
Rose: As such, I now have fins.  
Jade: oh!  
Jade: can i touch them?  
Rose: They appear to be rather sensitive.  
Jade: i'll be careful!  
Rose: Alright.  
Dave: kay so while that's going on  
Dave: im gonna go find a bathroom  
Dave: or an ablution block  
Dave: we are trolls now after all  
Dave: come with me john  
Dave: i dont wanna get lost

Dave heads for the door, and you numbly follow him out.  
You and he wander around for a few minutes. You find a series of three interconnecting rooms that contain a slew of alchemy equipment, three cruxtruders, two lathes, two alchemeters, a punch designix, and a catchparoid camera, to be exact. The diverging hallway leads to a set of stairs. The stairs have what appears to be a large computer at the top, but nothing else. There are no other pathways accessible to you.

Dave: well, were boned  
Dave: unless i can alchemise all of the shit necessary for us to live out the rest of our lives  
Dave: in these 630 square meters

You two walk quietly back to the little room. It looks just as small and square as it did when you woke up there. Rose and Jade are sitting on the floor next to a weird grey circle and talking. Jade sees you and greets you.

Jade: hey guys!  
Jade: find anything?  
Dave: a bunch of dead ends  
Dave: and some alchemy equipment  
Dave: and a giant computer thing  
Rose: Is that everything we can access?  
Dave: yeah  
John: except for that circle thingy, yes  
Rose: Circle thingy?  
John: on the floor behind you

They turn to scope out the circle. It has a spirograph on the top, in darker grey than the rest, but otherwise looks pretty boring.

Dave: nevermind  
Dave: we aren't stuck here  
John: huh?  
Dave: theres a transportalizer  
John: what’s a transportalizer?  
Dave: here  
Dave: let me demonstrate

Dave steps onto the circle, pauses for a second, and disappears in a flash of blue light.

John: what?  
John: where’d he go?  
Rose: You’ll have to trry and see, unless he returns to tell us.

The thought of stepping onto the circle and letting yourself get whisked away by the unseen forces behind the blue light is unnerving. You figure that you’d have to other people do it and return unharmed before you decided to use the thing yourself. Instant teleportation seems like something that would have more of a catch than that.  
Speaking of Dave, he himself appears quite suddenly in the same flash of blue as before. He steps off the circle, unharmed.  
You guess that maybe you could consider giving this thing a try in the near future. Maybe.  
Dave: hey  
Dave: guess what  
Jade: what?  
Dave: the trolls are here too  
Dave: alphas and betas  
Dave: i forget which is which  
Rose: Well then.  
Rose: Shall we take Jade and John to meet them?  
Rose: The ones they haven’t met alrready, I mean.  
Dave: yeah  
Dave: sounds like a good idea  
Dave: who have Jade and John not met yet  
Rose: You are aware that severral of the trolls died before we encounterred them on the meteorr, correct?  
Rose: My Seer powerrs tell me that they are no longer deceased.  
Dave: oh great  
Dave: fuckin seer powers  
Jade: hey rose  
Rose: Yes?  
Jade: i know that our voices have changed a bit  
Jade: you know, because we’re trolls  
Jade: but you seem to be doing this weird thing with your rs  
Rose: I am?  
Dave: yeah  
Dave i can hear it too  
Rose: Huh.  
Rose: Perrhaps I am developing a quirk.  
Jade: a quirk?  
Jade: what's a quark?  
Jade: i mean quirk  
Rose: You rrememberr that the trrolls type with cerrtain changes to spelling and grrammarr?  
Rose: These arre meant to rreflect theirr voices.  
Rose: The trroll brrain is apparrently wirred to trry and differrentiate one's speech frrom otherrs.  
Rose: You will likely develop quirrks too.  
Rose: Jade's likely rrevolves arround science puns,  
Rose: John's arround a parrticularr letterr,  
Rose: and Dave's arround  
Rose: a cerrtain symbol.  
Dave: cmon rose  
Dave: you gotta be spec~f~c here  
Dave: holy sh~t  
Rose: That is the literral prronunciation of the symbol '~'.  
Dave: even hol~er sh~t  
John: so karkat's quirk is  
John: literally being l0ud  
John: wait what  
Dave: there ~t ~s  
John: but- but isn't that the quirk 0f 0ne 0f the tr0lls already?  
Rose: It is a rratherr common one.  
Rose: But I believe that herrs changed.  
Jade: That can happen?  
Rose: When a trroll encounterrs a verry substantial change,  
Rose: Theirr mind can change with it.  
Rose: And theirr quirrk can change too.  
Jade: i wonder what mine is  
Jade: if i talc, will it just appear?  
Rose: It is beginning to do so, yes.  
Jade: really?  
Dave: yeah  
Dave: d~dnt you hear that  
Dave: whoa  
Dave: st~ll gotta get used to that  
Jade: but  
Jade: i can't hear it  
Jade: is it really that subtle?  
Jade: do i not have a cool quark?  
Jade: wait  
Jade: is that it?  
Rose: Yes.  
Jade: i just replace some words with other words?  
Rose: Yes.  
Rose: It will, howeverr, get strrongerr overr time.

Jade sighs and sits back down. Dave is repeating words with the letter i in them over and over under his breath. Rose looks immensely pleased with herself, of maybe just her quirk. You wonder about yours. Why did you get a common quirk? Why didn’t everyone else get one? Have you met the troll who used to have your quirk?  
You start thinking about the trolls. Rose told you about some of them that had died before the meteor and the three year journey. How many of them are there? Have you spoken with these trolls? Are they nice? You know that Vriska is, mostly, you know that Kanaya seems to be, you know that Karkat isn’t, and you know that Terezi sort of is. What will these new trolls be like? Do some of them have fins like Rose? Does Roxy have fins like Roz?  
Roxy. The alpha kids. Where are they? Dave said that the alpha trolls, whatever that means, were here as well, so maybe that means that your alphas will be. Are they trolls too? Did their names change? Do they have quirks? What are their horns like? Do they remember you?  
You are excited and terrified at the same time.  
Almost excited and terrified enough to step on the circle and go see what’s out there.


	2. Chapter 2

Your head is pounding. You've come to in an unfamiliar gray room, one that looks like a lab of some kind, and you're surrounded by unfamiliar aliens. Trolls, you think they were called, you met several just before the final battle, but you've never seen these. Why are they here? Why are you here with them? Where are Roxy, Jake, and Dirk? You tap the one closest to you slightly.

Jane(?): Hey  
??????: janey!

What? How does this troll know your name? She goes in to hug you, then stops, and stares at you.

??????: wait, you're not janey  
??????: you're a troll!  
Jane(?): What?

You aren't a troll, and you're pretty sure of that. You look down at your hands just to make sure and- OH GOD SHE WAS RIGHT YOUR HANDS ARE VERY GREY AND VERY ALIEN  
Wait.  
If you're a troll, then the others could be trolls too. If so, is the pink and grey being in front you one of your friends? Is it Roxy?

Jane(?): Roxy?  
??????: ye  
Jane(?): Roxy, look at your hands.  
??????: what  
??????: oh!  
??????: am i a troll too?

You nod frantically and nervously.

??????: janey!  
??????: we're trolls!  
??????: do i have horns?  
Jane(?): Yes-  
??????: omg  
??????: what do they look like?  
Jane(?): Uh, sort- sort of like cat ears.  
Jane(?): But larger, of course.  
??????: so cool  
??????: yours look like a spoon and a fork!  
??????: wait  
??????: if we're trolls, then we've gotta have troll names  
??????: what does my placronym say?  
??????: 'Roxane Alonde'  
Roxy: sweet!  
Roxy: what's yours

You falter, then check your cachtphalouge. Your placronym is hidden at the back, but you find it and read your new name aloud.

Jane(?): 'Jainin Croker'  
Jane: Well, that's something.  
Roxy: i wonder what dirk's is  
Roxy: where is dirk  
??????: Right here.

You jump when he speaks. Huh. You usually aren't so skittish. It's probably the shock of waking up as a troll.

??????: I had a bit of an identity crisis.  
??????: Sorry about that.  
Roxy: so what's your troll name  
??????: My troll name?  
Roxy: check your placronym  
??????: Hmm  
??????: 'Dirkku Stider'  
Dirk: Well then.  
Roxy: btw  
Roxy: your horns look like needles  
Roxy: i like them  
Dirk: They do?  
Dirk: Cool.  
Dirk: What about Jake?  
??????: What, me?

You jump again at the sound of a voice. Damn nerves.

??????: Who are you?  
??????: How do you know my name?  
Dirk: Uh, dude-  
Roxy: cool your jets  
??????: But- but I don't even know what species you are!  
Jane: Trolls.  
Jane: By the way, Jake, I'd look at your hands.  
??????: What?  
??????: Why?  
??????: Wait, are they grey?  
??????: Am I one of you?  
??????: Oh god.  
??????: Where's Dirk?  
Dirk: Right here.  
Dirk: Second time today.  
??????: You- you're-  
??????: Are we all?  
Roxy: yep  
Roxy: looks like it  
Roxy: we even have troll names now, dude  
??????: What?  
Dirk: Check your placronym.  
??????: I- oh  
??????: 'Jaycob Englis'  
Jake: That's stupid  
Dirk: It's better than 'Dirkku'.  
Jake: That's even worse.  
Jake: Jane, Roxy, did they do this to you too?  
Jane: Yes.  
Jane: Mine's 'Jainin'  
Roxy: and i'm 'Roxane'  
Jake: Oh, god.  
Jake- or Jaycob, now that you're trolls, is pacing erratically around the room with his head in his hands. Dirk is just sitting there with a contemplative look on his face, as if he's thinking about something big. Knowing Dirk, it's probably convoluted and inane as well. Roxy is closely examining her new troll nails. Are they nails? They look and feel more like claws. She taps them against the strange circular platform that's sitting on the ground in a corner of the room. They make a resounding click noise, and she looks satisfied.  
Jake has now removed his hands from his face, but is still pacing and grimacing.  
You wonder if there are any other trolls around here. You knew that there were some that Roxy's motherdaughter arrived with, so they might be here as well.  
Speaking of Roxy's motherdaughter, what happened to her? Is she a troll now too? Are Jake's grandma and Dirk's bro with her? Is your Poppop's double there too?  
You are startled out of your contemplation by troll-Roxy's voice.

Roxy: hey guys  
Roxy: i know dirk n i talked about some troll things  
Roxy: stuff we learned from the condecse  
Roxy: but how much do you know?  
Jake: Nothing!  
Jake: I don't want to know anything!  
Jake: I just want to be human again and forget about this!  
Dirk: Jake.  
Dirk: I know you want to be human again.  
Dirk: And I do too.  
Dirk: But we may be stuck as trolls for a while before we figure out how to fix this.  
Dirk: So you should at least know a little bt about how they work.  
Jane: So tell us.  
Jane: I’d like to know more about what we’ve become.  
Roxy: well  
Roxy: first off  
Roxy: trolls have a caste system  
Roxy: a stringent caste system  
Roxy: based on blood color  
Roxy: all trolls have different blood colors   
Roxy: but theyre all on a spectrum  
Roxy: there are tw3lve main groupings  
Roxy: maroon, usually called rust  
Roxy: bronze  
Roxy: gold  
Roxy: lime  
Roxy: olive  
Roxy: jade  
Roxy: teal  
Roxy: cerulean  
Roxy: indigo  
Roxy: purple  
Roxy: viol3t  
Roxy: and tyrian pink  
Roxy: maroon is considered the lowest, tyrian the highest  
Roxy: lim3 bloods went extinct long before the rest of trollkind did  
Roxy: at least in our univ3rse  
Roxy: and jade bloods are really rare  
Roxy: viol3t and tyrian bloods are also different in that theyre seadwellers  
Roxy: which m3ans that they hav3 gills and fins  
Roxy: some cast3s have psychic abilities attributed to th3m  
Roxy: rust bloods are oft3n psionic  
Roxy: which m3ans that they can use t3l3kinesis   
Roxy: som3 of th3m can also s33 ghosts  
Roxy: most bronz3 bloods can commun3 with animals  
Roxy: gold bloods ar3 usually psionics as w3ll  
Roxy: and som3 hav3 vision twofold  
Roxy: lim3 bloods ar3 suppos3d to hav3 a bunch of w3ird and crazy pow3rs  
Roxy: most oliv3 bloods cant r3ally do anything  
Roxy: jad3 bloods dont have pow3rs  
Roxy: but th3y ar3 th3 only cast3 that can t3nd to the moth3r grub  
Roxy: t3al bloods cant r3ally do anything 3ith3r  
Roxy: som3 c3rul3an bloods hav3 vision 3ightfold  
Roxy: which m3ans that th3y can r3ad minds  
Roxy: indigo bloods dont have anything sp3cific  
Roxy: purple bloods ar3 rumor3d to hav3 this f3ar manipulation ability called chuckl3voodos   
Roxy: and both cast3s of s3adw3ll3rs ar3n’t suppos3d to hav3 any  
Roxy: th3y might though  
Roxy: w3 dont know  
Dirk: Wait.  
Dirk: What castes are we?

He runs a claw against his arm, and yellow-brown begins to drip out. Jake looks even more disgusted by this revelation. Roxy only pricks herself, but judging by the fins on both sides of her face, it’s either violet or tyrian, whatever that means. You’d like to do the same, but you’re unnerved by what you might discover. You’re already highly uncomfortable with the grey skin, and discolored blood will only make it worse. Still, you’re curious, so you press a single claw against the side of your hand until you feel pain. You can tell that you’re bleeding, but you’re still afraid to look down. Curiosity gets the better of you again, and you glance at your hand just long enough to see the bright teal welling up from a single spot. You can’t say that you’re surprised.  
Jake is pacing again as Roxy tends to Dirk’s arm. He scratched all the way up the side of it, not just a single spot, and it’s bleeding more globs of yellow brown.   
You walk over there and uncatchphalouge the roll of bandages that you knew you had hiding in your sylladex. Dirk looks embarrassed at himself as you do so, but you pay no mind and wrap it up. That will have to do for now, since you have neither antiseptic nor a washcloth.  
Since you’ve gotten closer, you can see the bright pink spot on Roxy’s arm. That must be what tyrian means.  
Jake is blushing uncomfortably now that he’s gotten a good look at your and Roxy’s respective injuries. His blush is a deep forest green, and you’re pretty sure that that means he’s a jade blood.

Roxy: so  
Roxy: now that w3v3 got blood out of th3 way  
Roxy: th3r3s 3v3n mor3 troll stuff to talk about  
Roxy: romanc3  
Roxy: its divid3d up into four quadrants  
Roxy: r3d  
Roxy: pal3  
Roxy: ash3n  
Roxy: and black  
Roxy: r3d romanc3 is call3d mat3spritship  
Roxy: mat3spritship is th3 clos3st thing to human romanc3  
Roxy: it involv3s f33ling pity and lov3 towards on3’s partn3r  
Roxy: pal3 romanc3, or moiraliganc3, involv3s pity too  
Roxy: but it’s a soft3r pity  
Roxy: on3 with fr3indship inst3ad of lov3  
Roxy: ash3n romanc3 involv3s thr33 p3opl3 inst3ad of two  
Roxy: in auspisticism, on3 party com3s b3tw33n two that hav3 a particularly viol3nt and chaotic r3lationship in ord3r to stabiliz3 th3m  
Roxy: black romanc3 is call3d kismissitud3  
Roxy: it involv3s hat3 and dislik3 inst3ad of lov3 and pity  
Roxy: both parti3s in a kismissitud3 ar3 hard on 3ach oth3r  
Roxy: in ord3r to h3lp 3ach oth3r improv3 and ov3rcom3 flaws  
Roxy: but th3 only mutual f33ling is dislik3  
Jane: Hey Rox  
Jane: You seem to be doing something odd with your es  
Dirk: -t seems that she is developing a qu-rk.  
Dirk: Every troll speaks d-fferently, in order to create -ndividual-ty,  
Dirk: But -t appears that th-s is more of a hardwired -nst-nct than a choice.  
Roxy: lik3 how you k33p dropping the l3tt3r i  
Dirk: Prec-sely.  
Jane: I wonder what mine is.  
Jake: I don’t!  
Jake: This troll stuff is weirding me |o|ut.  
Jake: Is there anything else bizarre that I need t|o| l|o||o|k |o|ut f|o|r?  
Jake: |O|h fuck.  
Jane: Wait.  
Jane: Am I really the last person to get one of these quirks?  
Jane: Well.   
Roxy: so  
Roxy: what n3xt?


	3. Chapter 3

Oh, fuck. Your pan hurts. What happened? Did you get knocked out again? Where are you? It looks like the meteor. Are you back on the meteor again? You hope not. Wait, there are other trolls around you. There's Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska, Aradia, and- and Eridan? Eridan's dead, you know hat for sure. Did the game bring him back? Could the game bring him back? Was the meteor trip just a strange fever dream?   
You think about it for a minute before a voice brings you back to your senses.

??????: KK?

Holy shit. Was that Sollux?

Karkat: SOLLUX?  
Sollux: yeah?  
Karkat: WHERE- WHERE ARE WE?  
Sollux: look2 liike the veiil.  
Sollux: not liike the meteor, though.  
??????: 33:< what happened?  
??????: 33:< the last thing i remempurr is fighting gamzee  
??????: 33:< i feel different  
??????: D---> Nepeta?  
Nepeta: 33:< equius!  
Nepeta: 33:< are you okay?  
Nepeta: 33:< i remempurr that gamzee had hurt you!  
Equius: D---> I am fine.  
Equius: D---> However, I do remember that.  
Equius: D---> Are you alright?  
Nepeta: 33:< yes  
Nepeta: 33:< but i feel  
Nepeta: 33:< different  
Nepeta: 33:< somehow  
Nepeta: 33:< karkitty, do you remempurr what happened?  
Karkat: I- I REMEMBER SENDING EQUIUS AFTER GAMZEE  
Karkat: I REMEMBER HEARING SCREAMS  
Karkat: I REMEMBER FINDING BOTH OF YOUR CORPSES  
??????: SO DO 1.  
??????: 4T F1ST, 1 THOUGHT 1T W4S VR1SK4  
??????: I Remember Thinking That It Was Eridan  
??????: wwhat?  
??????: i dont remember seein you after everythin went dark  
??????: Really?  
??????: What Do You Remember, Then  
??????: i remember fightin sol  
??????: he got knocked out, then fef ran at me  
??????: and everythin stopped  
??????: Is That So?  
??????: You Don't Remember Killing Feferi  
??????: Or Me  
??????: Or The Matriorb?  
??????: i WWHAT  
??????: oh god  
??????: please tell me that youre jokin  
??????: So You Don't, Then  
??????: if that really happened i am so fuckin sorry kan  
Kanaya: I Will Try To Forgive You  
Kanaya: Maybe  
??????: wwait  
??????: is fef okay?  
Feferi: I am fine, -Eridan  
Eridan: god im so fuckin sorry  
Feferi: I don't really remember it eit)(er.  
Feferi: But for now  
Feferi: NO FIG)(TING  
Feferi: ANYONE  
Eridan: okay  
Eridan: i wwont  
Feferi: Good.  
Kanaya: I Will Hold You To That, Eridan  
Eridan: yeah I got it no fightin  
Eridan: and im still hella fuckin sorry for the murders i supposedly committed  
Kanaya: Good.  
??????: uH, GUYS  
??????: wHAT ABOUT VRISKA?  
??????: She won't be much of a problem.  
??????: She changed over the three years you were dead.  
Eridan: wwhat?  
Eridan: wwas i dead too?  
Kanaya: I Had To Avenge The Matriorb.  
Eridan: oh  
Nepeta: 33:< i can't believe that we missed three whole years!  
Terezi: W3 SP3NT 4LL OF TH3M ON TH3 M3T3OR, 1F TH4T H3LPS.  
Karkat: IT WAS HELL  
Karkat: TWO OF THE HUMANS WERE WITH US AS WELL  
Karkat: AND GAMZEE WAS STUCK IN A FRIDGE THE ENTIRE TIME  
Terezi: W3 D1DN'T W4NT H1M TO K1LL 4NYON3 3LS3  
Terezi: SO VR1SK4 STUCK H1M 1N TH3 FR1DG3  
Terezi: 4ND CH41N3D 1T SHUT

Yeah, you regret that. Your friend isn't going to be very happy with you when and if he gets out. Speaking of, did this bizarre endgame bullshit pull him out of the fridge, and if so, where is he?

??????: HONK

There he is, terrifying as always. Both Nepeta and Equius jump when they see him, and Eridan looks scared. He just stands there, blank-eyed, for a minute or so, then ambles out of the room just as calmly as he came in. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief at his departure.

??????: Hey guys, don't you think we should go find the humans now?  
??????: I mean, I don't want to interrupt your little reunion, 8ut-  
??????: Not yet, Vriska.  
Vriska: Megido?  
Aradia: Yes?  
Vriska: Why not?  
Aradia: Because the universe has made some changes.  
Aradia: Having multiple species of players is frowned upon, so the game did the best it could, and spit them out as trolls.  
Aradia: Likewise, the game doesn't agree with people from the same universe being different ages, so it spit all of us out a 7.5 sweeps.  
Nepeta: 33:< really?  
Nepeta: 33:< no wonder I feel different!  
??????: mAYBE WE SHOULD HELP THEM  
??????: tHE HUMANS, I MEAN  
Feferi: That's a good idea, Tavros  
Tavros: tHANKS  
Feferi: I'd really like to meet them!  
Karkat: OKAY, BUT JUST A WARNING.  
Karkat: THERE ARE 8 OF THEM NOW, INSTEAD OF 4  
Karkat: BECAUSE THEY SCRATCHED THEIR SESSION  
Eridan: wwasn't our session scratched too?  
Terezi: Y3S  
Terezi: 1 WOND3R WH3TH3R TH3 D4NC3STORS 4R3 H3R3 OR NOT  
Equius: D---> Dancestors?  
Terezi: TH3 TROLLS WHO SCR4CH3D TH31R S3SS1ON TO CR34T3 OURS  
Terezi: TH3Y'R3 D1R3CT COP13S OF OUR 4NC3STORS  
Equius: D---> Oh.  
You're sitting cross legged on the floor. Sollux is lying down, staring at the ceiling, while Aradia hovers over him. Terezi seems to be invesigating something near the open doorway. Vriska is perched haphazardly on one of the tables along the walls, while Tavros occupies the single chair in the room. Equius and Nepeta are sitting together on the floor by the wall opposite Terezi, and Nepeta appears to be trying to braid Equius' hair. Kanaya is sitting neatly, her legs folded under her. Feferi is sitting not-so neatly, giggling about something. Eridan is leaning against a wall, trying to look nonchalant. Those of you on the floor form a lopsided cicle.

Sollux: 2o  
Sollux: any other dra2tiic uniiver2al change2  
Sollux: that aa 2omehow know2 about  
Aradia: Yep!  
Aradia: This one's a smaller change, though.  
Aradia: It only affects one person.  
Aradia: It still involves the supposed constant of compatability.  
Aradia: Any guesses?  
Sollux: aa  
Sollux: we don't have crazy all knowiing godtiier abiiliitiie2 liike you do  
Sollux: you can't ju2t giive u2 vauge biit2 of iinformatiion   
Sollux: and leave u2 to gue22 how the almiighty uniiver2al con2tant ha2 fucked u2 over thii2 tiime  
Aradia: It's more fun this way!  
Sollux: maybe for you  
Terezi: Y34H  
Terezi: YOU'R3 L34V1NG US 1N TH3 D4RK H3R3  
Terezi: TH3 ONLY TH1NG 1 C4N CORR4BOR4T3  
Terezi: W1TH MY 4M4Z1NG 3XTR4S3NSORY PROW3SS  
Terezi: 1S TH4T K4RK4T SM3LLS D1FF3R3NT  
Terezi: 1 C4N'T P1CK UP ON WH4T 1T 1S  
Terezi: H3'S JUST  
Terezi: D1ST1NCTLY L3SS CH3RRY  
Sollux: really?  
Sollux: aa ii2 thii2 iit  
Sollux: ii2 the ma22iive uniiver2al change ju2t  
Sollux: that kk 2mell2 diiferent  
Aradia: That's part of it!  
Sollux: 2o vauge  
Terezi: HMM  
Terezi: W3 N33D TO 1NV3ST1G4T3 FURTH3R  
Karkat: NO, WE DON'T  
Karkat: IF ONLY TO KEEP YOU FROM LICKING ME  
Terezi: TH3 L1CK1NG 1S 4N 1MPORT4NT P4RT OF TH3 1NV3ST1G4T1ON  
Terezi: DO NOT D1SM1SS MY PROF3SS1ON4L M3THODS  
Karkat: PROFESSIONAL?  
Karkat: WHAT'S SO PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT  
Vriska: Yawn.  
Vriska: Are you done arguing yet?  
Vriska: Going and finding the humans is obvisiously the important thing to do now.  
Terezi: VR1SK4   
Terezi: W3 4R3 SOLV1NG 4 MYST3RY  
Vriska: Really?  
Vriska: That's 8oring.  
Vriska: The universe probably decided that something small was wrong with him and fixed it.  
Vriska: No big deal.  
Vriska: But the humans-  
Terezi: WH4T 1S W1TH YOU 4ND TH3 HUM4NS?  
Terezi: W3 N33D TO F1ND OUT WH4T'S UP W1TH K4RK4T F1RST  
Terezi: 4NY 1D34S?  
Nepeta: 33:< nope  
Tavros: nO  
Kanaya: None.  
Eridan: no  
Feferi: Nope!  
Equius: D---> I think maybe-  
Vriska: So no.  
Vriska: No one has any ideas about this inconsequential 'mystery'.  
Equius: D---> Actually-  
Vriska: Which means that we should  
Vriska: O8VIOUSLY  
Vriska: Go and find the humans.  
Terezi: S3RK3T  
Terezi: L3T TH3 W1TN3SS SP34K  
Equius: D---> So.  
Equius: D---> Since Karkat is, technically, a mutant  
Equius: D---> Maybe the universe solved that problem.  
Karkat: YEAH, RIGHT

For all your sarcastic bluster, you're actually pretty sure that that might be it. You run a claw along your arm in a brazen test. Bright lime leaks out of the wound, and you actually physically startle at what you see. Lime bloods, for all you know, went extinct millenia before the rest of your race.

Karkat: HOLY SHIT  
Terezi: WH4T 1S 1T  
Terezi: L3T M3 SM3LL

Without a moments' thought, you turn your bleeding arm towards her. You probably shouldn't be this quick to reveal things about yourself in the future.

Terezi: OOH  
Terezi: K3Y L1M3 P13!

She gets a lot closer to your arm, probably to smell it. You really, really hope she doesn't lick it.  
Too late.  
She backs away, lime visible on her tongue. You should really get Kanaya to clean your wound before it gets infected with whatever was in her mouth.  
Speaking of Kanaya, she and Sollux lean in to get a closer look at your arm, which is still bleeding.

Sollux: 2o  
Sollux: you're a liimeblood now  
Sollux: cool  
Kanaya: I Must Say  
Kanaya: It Is A Rather Jarring Color To See On You  
Nepeta: 33:< really?  
Nepeta: 33:< that's pawfully neat  
Nepeta: 33:< can i see?

You turn your arm, which is just now scabbing over, towards her to show her and therefore Equius as well. He blanches at the sight of blood, but she just giggles and continues playing wih his hair.  
Eridan, Feferi, and Tavros are also glancing over in intrigue. 

Vriska: So did you losers figure out your mystery yet?  
Aradia: Yes!  
Aradia: They figured out what happened to Karkat faster than I did, in fact.  
Vriska: Something happened to him?  
Aradia: The same mechanism that facilitated our arrival here saw his mutation as an inconsistency and fixed it.

She motions for you to show the scab on your arm to Vriska. You do, and she smirks.

Vriska: Lime, eh?  
Vriska: 8oring.  
Vriska: Can we take the transportalizer to go find the humans now?  
Karkat: YOU CAN, IF YOU WANT TO  
Karkat: GAMZEE'S ALREADY GONE, WHICH MEANS THERE'S NO SENSE IN KEEPING US ALL TOGETHER  
Karkat: I MAY EVEN HEAD OVER THERE MYSELF


	4. Chapter 4

You awake on a cold metal floor. Your head is pounding and you're sore all over. You sit up and- ow, you haven't felt this much pain since you died.   
Wait- are you dead? You vaguely remember that ghosts have white eyes, so you need to remember to check your eyes in a mirror whenever you find one. You don't know when that will be, because you don't know where you are and why you're here. It does, however, appear that some of your friends are here with you. You jab Cronus in between the ribs, for old times' sake, then get down to business.

Cronus: hey!  
Meenah: yeah, yeah  
Meenah: where the shell are we?  
Cronus: howv wvould i knowv?  
Meenah: dunno  
Meenah: it was moray of a rhetorical question  
??????: Meenah?  
Meenah: yo  
Meenah: serks  
Meenah: you know where we are?  
Aranea: No.  
Aranea: I have absolutely no clue.  
Aranea: Kurloz might.  
Meenah: well hows he supposed to shell us?  
Meenah: with his mouth all  
Meenah: you know  
??????: >:3 Be nice to Purrloz!  
Meenah: wait  
Meenah: howd your hear that  
Meenah: im not facing you  
??????: :33 With my ears, silly!  
Meenah: you aint deaf anemonemore?  
??????: :333 Nope!  
Meenah: oh  
Meenah: did tuna get his pan fixed too   
Meenah: or  
Mituna: 1’M F1N3, 455H0L3  
Mituna: 0R 5H0ULD 1 54Y  
Mituna: B455H0L3  
Mituna: W0W  
Mituna: 7H47 W45 W0R53 7H4N 1 7H0UGH7 17D B3  
Mituna: WH1CH W45 R34LLY B4D  
??????: tun4!  
??????: 1 m1ss3d you  
Mituna: 7UL4!  
Mituna: 1 D1DN7 M155 Y0U B3C4US3 1 D0N7 R3M3MB3R Y0U 3V3R H4V1NG B33N G0N3  
Mituna: BU7 175 G00D TW0 533 Y0U TW0  
Latula: 4w, th4nks tun3s  
??????: :3333 Ship!  
Meenah: really muelin  
Meenah: you gotta fangirl every time something happens?  
Meulin: :55 but  
Meulin: :333333 OTP!!  
??????: Meulin, y9u might need t9-  
??????: She can do+ what she wants, Kanny.  
Kankri: 6ut P9rrim, she is disrupting the peace and quiet.  
Porrim: And yo+u aren’t?  
Kankri: She is making my headache w9rse.  
Aranea: I am sorry to interrupt, 8ut would any of you happen to know where we are.  
??????: 1 was about to ask that myself.  
??????: 8D---> Rufioh!  
Rufioh: Oh, Horuss  
Rufioh: 1t’s great to see you.  
Horuss: 8D---> I missed you!  
Rufioh: 1 m1ssed you, too.  
Damara: hey losers  
Meenah: so  
Meenah: that’s everyone  
Meenah: except kurloz  
Meenah: where is he, anyway?  
Kankri: I d9n’t kn9w.  
Mituna: H3 W4ND3R3D 0U7 0F 7H3 R00M 4 L177L3 WH1L3 4G0  
Mituna: H4V3N’7 533N H1M 51NC3.

Hmm. You wonder where he could have gotten off to. Probably nowhere far, you think. You have no idea what’s out there, and neither did he, so he probably decided to stay close to your little room and not get lost.   
There’s a grey circle sitting on the floor over there. It’s etched with darker grey lines in a weird spirograph pattern, and you find yourself mesmerized by it. Huh. You wonder what would happen if you went over there and stood on it. Probably not much, but you want to try.

Meenah: hey guys  
Meenah: whats with the grey circle thingy  
Aranea: That?  
Aranea: I’m not sure what it is, exactly,  
Aranea: 8ut it might 8e dangerous.  
Meenah: im gonna go stand on it  
Aranea: What part of ‘it might 8e dangerous’ do you not understand?  
Meenah: too late

There’s a flash of blue light, then you’re standing on a grey circle thingy somewhere else. This room is the same drab grey, but it’s larger and emptier. There are more grey circles in the opposing corners and one in the center of the room  
You want to check out where the other grey circles lead. Where else is there to explore? Are there other circles elsewhere?  
There's only one problem; you don't know which one to try first.  
You stand there, weighing your options, before the blue light flashes again, this time not from around you but from in front of you. A red-clad troll with massive horns steps off of the circle and nods at you.

Dave: sup  
Meenah: who the shell are you?  
Dave: dave  
Meenah: mkay  
Meenah: are there moray of you?  
Dave: well yeah  
Dave: not sure where everyone is yet  
Dave: probably should get back  
Dave: see ya

Well that was brief and unexpected. You wonder who he was.   
There's another flash, and Aranea appears on the circle behind you. She's got her hands on her hips, and she looks angry.

Aranea: Meenah!  
Aranea: That was reckless and irresponsi8le of you!  
Aranea: What if something had happened to you?  
Aranea: You could have died!  
Meenah: clam down serks  
Meenah: im fine  
Meenah: no need to keep flipperin the fuck out  
Aranea: 8ut  
Aranea: Consider the circumstances!  
Aranea: We have a8solutely no clue where we are,  
Aranea: We have a8solutely no clue why we're here,  
Aranea: And we have a8solutely no clue if anyone else is here with us!  
Meenah: i got the answer to the last one  
Aranea: Really?  
Meenah: yeah  
Meenah: there was a dude with shades who appeared on that little circle thingy over there  
Meenah: said his name was dave  
Aranea: Well.  
Aranea: That's  
Aranea: Something  
Aranea: We should go back.  
Aranea: The others are waiting on us.  
Aranea: Cronus thought you were dead, for god's sake.

He thought you were dead? Why would he think that? You mean, you did disappear in a suspicious flash of light, but dead? No way.  
You're excited about heading back and laughing at him for that.   
Aranea sees the look on your face and immediately steps aside to allow you access to the teleport-thingy. You step confidently onto it, and bam, you're back in the room with everyone else.  
Cronus looks shocked as you step off the thing and Aranea appears behind you. You flash him the biggest, snarkiest grin you can muster, and the color drains out of his face.

Cronus: shit  
Cronus: you ain't dead  
Mituna: Y34H  
Mituna: Y0U 4R3N'T G01NG 70 G37 70 74K3 H3R PL4C3, F15HFUCK3R  
Meenah: wait  
Meenah: cro

You aren't suprised by the revelation that yes, he wants your spot. That isn't going to stop you from milking this for all it's worth, though. You turn and face him, and it looks like he knows exactly what you're about to say.

Meenah: you wanted to take my place  
Meenah: as leader  
Cronus: uh  
Meenah: leader  
Meenah: you know what would happen if you were the leader  
Meenah: nothing, that's what  
Meenah: 'cause it ain't like that could ever happen  
Meenah: if i died  
Meenah: you know who would be the leader?  
Meenah: someone who could get shit done  
Meenah: and you ain't that someone  
Meenah: hell  
Meenah: you could barely lead a meowbeast out of a bag  
Meenah: a wet paper bag  
Meenah: that's why  
Meenah: if anyone's gonna take my place  
Meenah: it's gonna be Aranea  
Meenah: no questions asked  
Mituna: FUCK1NG 0WN3D  
Cronus: meenah  
Cronus: i newver said that i wvanted to take your-  
Mituna: Y35 Y0U D1D  
Mituna: Y0UR 4C710N5 H4V3 C0N53QU3NC35, CR0NU5


End file.
